I’ve been thinking a lot about life expectations. What I expect, what others expect and what society expects. But mostly, what I expect and why I expect that. We are raised to think that happiness is some magical formula. Like X + Y = Z = happiness and success. Well, the fact is that very often, X doesn’t work out, Y seems to keep alluding you, and Z isn’t what you thought it would be, you can’t even solve for it, or you’re not even sure if you want to. As someone who grew up where, well, to be honest, everything came quite easily to me and things just worked out well, this whole formula not working thing is very frustrating. I always loved algebra because you could always get the answer! You KNEW when you had it! There was no gray, only black and white. And A+’s, always A+’s.
But life isn’t like that. There’s a lot of gray. There are things in life that don’t get an A+. There’s a lot of fumbling around in the dark. Not everything is perfect. It doesn’t matter what life circumstance you’re in, something doesn’t go as planned. That’s just life.
So. How to deal.
I sure as heck don’t know. I’m learning as I go. I was hoping you could tell me.
Here’s what I do know:
Focusing on the positive is important.
You’re luckier than you realize.
You’re more talented than you think.
People love you. And believe in you. Get them to tell you why sometimes. It helps.
Comparing yourself to others accomplishes nothing.
Exercise and sleep make everything a little better. Sometimes wine helps. And clean sheets. Clean sheets always help.
Getting in a funk happens. Try to get to the root of what’s causing the funk. Try journalling. Or, if you’re not a writer, talk to someone you trust. Just get them to listen.
Good friends and good neighbors are priceless. Same goes for family. Don’t take them for granted and try to let them know how much you appreciate them.
Indulge in some self-care regularly. If you can’t afford a massage or a pedicure, try a hot bath with epsom salts.
No matter how perfect you think someone’s life is…it’s not.
I don’t know what perfect is…I kind of think it doesn’t exist. So aiming for something that doesn’t exist can be quite disheartening. I’m really not in some dark, sad place like you might think from this post. It’s just that I’ve been thinking about life in general a lot, and I’ve been catching myself comparing myself to others and feeling like a failure because I’m not where I’m “supposed” to be. I don’t really believe in fate, but if I step back and think about it, I believe that we are all where we are supposed to be, learning what we need to, experiencing what is essential for our personal growth.
So I’m trying to embrace it. Embrace right where I’m supposed to be. To revel in the growing pains. Can I at least get an A for effort? 😉